Ah..feel like blogging all of a sudden..I'm actually sometimes unsure of what i'm feeling...sometimes i think things in my life are going so smoothly..while other times i think about it and feel that its not really that well after all..Yikes..seem like i'm having contradicting thoughts...

This post is EXACTLY whats going on in my head...those thoughts running here and there..bouncing off the skull in my head...it will definitely sound a little confusing...incomprehensible....crazy...but hey...this is my blog rite? So i just wanna rant abit...haha and hope that maybe someone would understand or something..lol...comments are welcome in my tagboard(Scroll down the left scrollbar)...

Well...many things are happening and not happening...

One of my guitarist in my band, Cheston passed away peacefully recently last Sunday... I attended his wake on Tuesday and met many ppl...yes..i teared when i thought about it on Monday...it was sad...very sad....

Many blogs wrote about this...including kian huat's blog...ppl mourning..ppl crying...ppl missing him...ppl doing special things...ppl coming out with videos and stuff...Yup...y it affected us so much was because of the fact that he's 21...just like us...and there were so much to look forward to... He was a great guy and a talented musician...He had many friends and a loving family...but he had to leave us...where to...we dunno..but i'm pretty sure he went up...and like some of his close friends say...he is most probably playing great music to god..I'm sure god has plans for such a great guy like him...

I want to write more...but i prefer not to think...cause most prob he's in a much happier place now...Y? cause he no longer have to face the stress this cruel society has put us through..he will not have to go thru more backstabbing..more politics, be it in school or office...he no longer have to think about NS...about family problems..about rushing datelines...and putting a mask in front of everyone when he's really stressed up...i believe he's in paradise...and happier...

I dont wan to disappoint him by making this a sad post like everyone..I wan to make my tribute to him more special and practical...I just wan him to know..we all miss him...and he has taught EVERYONE an important lesson...to cherish everyone near u and be nice to ppl u meet anywhere anytime...it can be anyone...the blind keyboardist u meet at Orchard...the amazing singer outside AMK hub...the auntie who walk around to sell tissue paper...or maybe the Customer Service Officer from some hotline...Be nice...and think more for others...

Just when everyone is busy with work in school...and busy making friends...and it seemed like everyone has boarded the raft...ready to drift apart from one another...he seemed to have appeared at the shore and pulled everyone back together...He's that great...and that was proven when so many ppl attended his wake...and so many ppl had tributes to him...by blogging..changing msn nick...We'll never forget him...and he'll always be everybody's friend...Rest in peace Cheston...we'll remember u...

Anw.. many other things have been going on...and its really making me so sian about things that are going on...

I mean...going to school is a torture...i dont wan to say too much here...but to summarise it up..the stress level suck...everything is so fast paced...workload is so heavy..bla bla bla...u read it on every blog and u see the complains on every nick...i'm sure even YOU who's reading this blog now is facing it...but really..it sucks...cant stand it...

I used to have a really great clique in JC..in secondary school..in army...at work..and things were so fun...these ppl who not just fun...i knew i can talk to them when in need..i know they are the ppl who will wan to listen to my problems..and jio me out when they wanna talk..sms me when bored..bla bla bla...but all these seem missing in NUS...i dunno...i wonder if its cause i dont see it...or cant see it...i dunno...aiyz...i would love to appreciate anyone who would be free enough to slack with me when i'm sian..call me talk cock abit..but ah well..i know everyone's bz...so thats y i say...the stress level really suck and school suck more...sorry for the rants...i need to get them off my mind...

Suddenly, i remember how charismatic i always was...always joking..showing magic tricks...saying funny and random stuff...lol...i was always the kai xin guo..ok..this is random...

But of course...there are ppl who were always there and I really appreciate them...more significantly i wanna just mention the two most impt ppl in my life...and thats Jin Zi and Jeremy..they were always there..and they are the ppl who when i'm troubled..i pick up my phone and just dial their number..knowing that they will be ready to listen to me and talk to me...Thanks jin zi...and thanks bro...

Maybe it seem like i dont appreciate my family...but i do...i enjoy every time spent with them...but ppl closest to me..especially jin zi..would know how little time they even spend with me...Coming home to four walls sometimes feel great..because of the freedom..but it has been so many years..and things are still like that...everyone's bz...

Fortunately..I now have someone to eat with...sitting around in the living room...holding a bowl of rice filled with home cooked delicacies...and watching some taiwan show while listening to some funny and noisy conversation...Jin zi...xie xie ni wor...:)

Sorry if things are still sounding random and nonsensical...like i said this are things that are bouncing around in my mind..and i just drilled a hole in my head to let everything pour out randomly...lol...

Just to prevent anyone from misunderstanding that i'm like some problem kid or so poor thing or something like tt...i just wanna say..i'm stressed - yes...i'm quite sick of the lifestyle now - yes..i feel sian about how things are going on now - yes... but i've special ppl i can treasure and cherish and my family still loves me and everything...and i still enjoy chatting with friends and talking to my mum and dad about stuff going on in my life...so..i'm normal..just that things for me are more sian than maybe others...ah well..

There are also things that arent going on...like how i feel like my engine isnt really starting...not my nissan sunny..but i mean my work...seems like i'm still A LITTLE but really only a little slacking..as if nothings going on...but SOMETHING is going on...Programming practical exam (described by our teachers as the most difficult exam in our life in SOC) is next SATURDAY...and i'm still like reading slowly..bla bla bla..i dunno what i'm thinking...

Lol..Ok..think i rant-ed enough...at least for today...

Thanks all for listening...

Will blog again..but i promise to make it shorter and more interesting...and maybe with a pint of pictures or something ya...lol..ciaoz...i do hope that someone has actually read until this sentence before closing the window already...which i believe most ppl have already done so..oh well..I'll end this post with this statement "I HATE MONDAYS!" Ciaoz~ =P