Hi all...after much consideration..I've finally decided to post the entry which i finished typing on Saturday...I still remember what i felt on Saturday..but i was so tired i've decided to ignore it...and chose to keep the post in my account...hoping that i will never need to post it...but now...i think i'll do it cause seriously..zhuo4 ren2 heng3 nan2...Its true...I'm not talking about any issue in particular..just...its tough to be a person ba...

Waking up today was actually both a torture and relief...torture cause i didnt fall asleep...relief cause its finally morning...I sat up...my eyes felt weary...but closing it didnt help...i stood up...and walked towards my piano...

I sat down...placed my fingers on the black and white keys...and started playing...I wanted to complete my eighth song...

I started playing...but this time something just wasnt right...I closed my eyes...and felt very tired..but still..i tried to capture the mood i had for the past few days...Howver, as i started playing blindly...i heard something different...I tried to play the chord progression I've been writing with...but it was different still...I composed in C major...but this time..i hear A minor...E minor...then F minor....Just what was going on? I let my fingers play on...slowly a song was written...but this time...a different song from last time...

I'm so tired...but i still came to work...and now i'm staring blindly into the screen...lol...the name of my blog just kept flashing..lol..whats going on? I'm too confused...Just what is going on???

Lunch..Dinner...Home...they have always been a lonely times for me...

Lunch - Sitting down in the canteen...just looking around...having my own food...haha..i dont really mind that though...at least i dont have to entertain anyone..just finish my food and go back to my office...

Dinner - I queue up at S11...to 'da bao' (takeaway) my favourite rice...I bring the food home and eat in front together with my TV set...sometimes I just sit down at S11 and have my own little meal...

Home - Four walls till 11pm...

Lol..its times like this when ppl reading the blog thinks i'm trying to gain pity...but i'm not...these are feelings that some of my closest friends might never understand...and some of my other friends will not know how to handle...since i'm always the one counciling ppl...Who am i to be sad? Do i even have the right to? I just know i must make someone happy...(Yea..i know it just sounds terribly lame...so if it does sound that way to u..i apologise...just ignore me yea...)

I'll end here...loneliness leads to fear...fear leads to worries...worries lead to stress...stress leads to fear...its a vicious cycle...

I'm just very tired...anyone wanna eat with me someday?

Sometimes...an entertainer needs to be entertained too...